A Time to GIVE
March 30th, 2009It’s time to admit that not everything the Nazis did was bad. We must come to this conclusion after Congress overwhelmingly passed the Generations Invigorating Volunteerism and Education Act (GIVE), which will create a commission to study the feasibility of establishing “a workable, fair and reasonable mandatory service requirement for all able young people” that “would strengthen the social fabric of the nation” — much like one once conceived by another force of change.
While we progressives took every opportunity imaginable to link former President Bush’s policies to those of the Führer und Reichskanzler, none of them compare quite so neatly as this plan does with the famed Hitler-Jugend. Only this organization will be used as a force for good, and therefore cannot be considered bad.
Just imagine the wonderful activities these youngsters would engage in.
First, after putting on their organic, hypoallergenic uniforms, they could start off with organized calisthenics, so that their bodies become as hard as their minds — followed by singing songs of peace, love, understanding, and Obama, such as this ditty (please forgive the mixed metaphor):
He is Obama — savior, Caesar, and tribune.
Legislators, let us save ourselves
Decree the common welfare.
That the hedge-fund manager return his plunder,
That the murderer be pulled from his prison.
Let us fan the forge ourselves
Strike the iron while it is hot.
This is the final struggle.
Let us stand together, and tomorrow
The Obamanale
Will lift the human race.
The sound of these songs will surely echo throughout the land — to the extent that many adults will likely stop whatever they’re doing and join in. Even if they have to be strongly encouraged to do so.
Following song time, it’ll be off to the rallies and marches — where our youth will help weed out regressive elements in society, whether such elements are among their neighbors, or even within their own family. One day they might protest in front of the home of an executive who had the audacity to collect a bonus. The next day they might target a church and its backward beliefs. And who knows whom they’ll come for the day after that.
We can even have them help both conduct the census and register voters, assuring in the future that every vote is counted. At least once.
Children are indeed our future, and it’s high time we finally give them the opportunity to light our new tomorrow. Especially as it’s likely to be plenty dark.
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© Copyright 2009 by Colin Cohen. All Rights Reserved.
