Reports indicate that as many as a billion people turned off their lights last week during Earth Hour — a truly amazing display of obedience to our cause, and one that shows that people will blindly follow any dictate, just as long as they think it will lead to lower carbon emissions. And this gives us great hope that they’ll be willing to accept the final solution to the global warming problem.

While there have been many proposed solutions to the problem of climate change, none so far have attacked the root cause of the problem: humans. They are the ones who run the machines and enjoy the bounty they bequeath, they are the ones who eat the cows and drink their milk, and they are the ones who drive the vehicles and heat their homes.

According to statistics from the National Resources Defense Council, the average citizen of the world produces over 7,000 pounds of carbon emissions per year — when you combine their individual contribution with their share of industrial emissions. Of course, those in the developed nations of the West — who just happen to be the most green conscious — have far higher contributions. For example, the average American produces approximately 40,000 pounds of carbon emissions per year.

We cannot significantly reduce these emissions unless we significantly reduce the number of humans. And the only practical way to do that is to kill ourselves.

This is where our culture of death comes in awfully handy. Because, if life has little or no inherent value, who could honestly complain about such a proposal? And if they do, we’ll simply have Al Gore make another documentary — as no one of any merit would ever challenge his assertions. After all, he’s got a Nobel Prize.

So, next year when Earth Hour comes around again — instead of having everyone turn off their lights for one hour — we should have them drink green-colored Kool-Aid laced with potassium chloride, which just happens to be not only the poison Jim Jones gave to his followers, but also the one many abortionists use to terminate those dreaded unbabies.

If the billion people who participated in this previous Earth Hour participate in our new and improved version, we will eliminate more than 7 trillion pounds of carbon emissions per year. And that’s assuming an even distribution of participants around the world. As participation would likely be higher in the nations that emit the most, the actual number of savings may be two or even three times as much.

And if we could get a billion people to participate each year, the planet would be saved in a very short amount of time indeed.

Or maybe not. Maybe the temperature of the planet would still rise even without the carbon emissions, as no one has conclusively proved a relation between the two.

But what does it hurt to try?

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© Copyright 2009 by Colin Cohen. All Rights Reserved.

This column was posted on Monday, April 6th, 2009 at 7:58 am. You can follow any responses to this column through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.